Moved!

I have moved my blog to
http://writingaboutthejourney.wordpress.com/

Suffering and Hope...

We started back to small group a couple of weeks ago. I love our small group! We have some new faces and some old and I am excited about the people and couples God has brought together this year! There are 24 of us total....its not such a "small" group but it is working out so well in spite of the big number.
We are currently studying a series on the book of James. The book opens with the topic of suffering and trials. On Monday night we started the study and as the night went on almost everyone openly shared about a way that they were struggling at this season in their life. The thing that surprised me was that almost everyone was going through a tough struggle and if they weren't personally they knew someone who was. God has really been breaking my heart for my friends and church.
Last week a family in our church lost their six year old son after battling cancer for only 2 weeks. I am awe struck at the courage and strength it must take to carry on after such a catastrophic event. I think to myself, "how do you move on after that?". I doubt I would be strong enough to make it.

Today I was listening to a Northpoints podcast. Louie Giglio was speaking on the subject of hope. I beg you if you are going through a tough struggle right now take time to listen to this message! This message is not a feel good message that will make you warm and fuzzy but a message of truth! There are two. The first is called "Anchor of Hope". The second is called "Megaphone of Hope". I subscribe to the Buckhead Churches Podcast but you can also assess the messages through this link:

http://www.buckheadchurch.org/messages

I pray you to will be strengthen in Christ and cling to the cross.

Morphine

I am coming out of a very busy time in my life. I literally feel as if I am going through detox, like the same kind of therapy a person receives after coming of a drug or habit. I used to judge people who did drugs and all but I had an experience last year that changed my perspective. (Your mind really must being going right now : ) I got really really sick this time last year. It was actually a result of my busy life style. I got mono worse than my doctor had ever seen. It came on me really abruptly one day and I had to be take to the hospital. At the hospital they could not figure out what was gong on so they just decided to put me on some good ole morphine. Now look I don't know if you have ever been in some serious pain but the drug made me forget about everything. It was awesome...I am not going to lie. But let me tell you what was not cool...when they turned it off! I have never literally wanted to hurt someone more in my life. All that pain cam rushing back... and I was REALLY mad! I have never been through a real detox situation but this was slightly like it. My body hurt and even longed to have the drug back in my system to numb the pain. But you can not live on morphine.
I believe busy lifestyles and hectic schedules can do the same to the pain of relational loneliness. God created us to be relational because He is relational and we are made in His image! But instead of getting out there and being vulnerable enough to enter into relationships with people we take in what I like to call "relational morphine" like MySpace, Facebook, Blogs, TV shows, and being way to in the know with celeberty lives. We are too busy to build in time for people so we settle for relationships that are built behind a TV screen or computer screen. These kind of relationships are superficial and far too easy! They numb the loneliness and the pain we feel and rob us from becoming desperate enough to get out there and meet people! Why do I believe "Friends" was such the hit show, because we all deeply long for that! And I believe God deeply desires that for us!
My body had to come of the drug to properly heal. I had to feel the pain so I knew I need to slow down, rest and experience true healing. This has been taking place not just in my phsical body but my spiritually and emotionally as well. I have had to come off the lifestyle I was living...slow down...feel some pain...feel the emptiness and build relationships again. So friends are good. People are good. It is refreshing to just be able to get to know people and learn to love them and be invested in their lives! I am thankful for good friends.
Anyway all that to say we have been blessed with some awesome friends...new and old!Don't give up on people! God designed us to be with people...yes even more so than the ones we live with! Isolated lives do not glorify God! How can we reach others if we are not brave enough to get to know them? Besides being a blessing to others God fulfills us in ways unimaginable through others. He speaks in many ways...through prayer, His Word...but if I look back I have heard His voice most often through the mouth of a trusted friend!

A Refuge in Battle

The other night Mark and I watched, "Enemy at the Gates" (well I watched half of it). In the opening scene, you see young Russian soldiers being loaded into a box car. They know they are going into battle, but they are not quit sure of what to expect. The camera pans to the boys faces as the car door opens. Their faces are in shock and terror as they stare out on to what is in front of them. They are pale and white.Before they can begin to lasso their mounting fears, they are grabbed by officers and thrown out of the car. The camera turns to show a dark and explosive battle front. The train had literally dropped them off at the front line of the battle. As they unloaded from the car they were being shot at in every direction.

I can not help but feel like Mark and I have been hurled out of a box car and thrown into battle this month! The battle has not been an obvious one, like a job loss or illness in the family, it has been a battle of the mind and spirit. There are times when I believe that you can allow the enemy in your life by letting your guard down (which we have learned to be even more cautious of!), but then there are the times when the enemy just out right declares war on you! Many times, I have asked God to remove us from this time and place. He has not. Hopes have grown dim, confusion has increased, patience has run its coarse, money has gotten tighter, feelings have been hurt and plans have unfolded. I have looked to my Father (I know which one move He could end this battle) but instead He has handed over battle gear and said,"I am teaching you to fight". Yes, I know the war has already been won, but the battle is rough! It is easy to write about what God has taught me in the high points this month, but I have to be honest, there have been more lows than highs.
I have learned more than ever what it means to say that God is my REFUGE!Through this battle, I have seen Him in new places and have felt Him closer than ever before. Today He gave me a sweet retreat. My sister and I took off and went driving. I don't know if you noticed but it was an absolutely beautiful day! Today He took me out of battle and let me retreat in His absolute glory! The beginning of fall is amazing! It was so good to just be outside...to just be in God's creation! I have attached some pictures.
If you too are in battle retreat in His arms! Take time, this change in season, to just sit and be still. Let His own beauty bring rest to your soul...

Be STRONG and COURAGEOUS!

My favorite scene in one of my favorite movies, "You've got Mail", Kethleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) is advised by her secret admirer, Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) that to save her business she must "go to the mattresses". As anyone who has seen the Godfather (which I have not) that means...FIGHT! I watch this movie almost every year. This year for some reason I identified with the main character Kathleen more than ever before....
Somewhere in my journey with God I have become very weak. I remember when I first became a Christian in high school, my friends and I would do the craziest things. We would pray in the cafeteria before school for our campus. We would sign petitions, meet at coffee houses and worship. We randomly walked up to people and shared the gospel. I even had a goal that with every paper I wrote in high school I would share my faith some how. We were defiantly weird...(Praise God for the amazing friends I had in high school!)
Sometimes I look back at the things we did and think, "we were so immature. Didn't we know that you couldn't just share your faith randomly...there must be a relationship...Didn't we know that we probably annoyed the people at the coffee house more than we pointed them to God?!hmmm...." Although you know what! We were doing something! I am convicted that so much of my faith is talk now! Although God has taught me many new truths and ways to reach people...I feel as if that gave me an excuse not to do anything.
A familiar verse, Joshua 1:9, says "Have I not commanded you,Be strong and courageous do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord God is with you wherever you go." I personally think there should be an exclamation mark at the end of that sentence! That is a strong promise!
For too long I have not been strong nor courageous. I have been paralized by the fear of doing something for God that was not His plan. What if I heard Him wrong? What if this is not what he called me to do? What if blah blah blah.... At the core of all of this is FEAR. Fear is a paralyzing weakness that the enemy has used in my life to almost take the voice of God and manipulate it. It sounds so close to the truth! "I could mess up God's plan...no God is all powerful. "I could mess up God's plan for my life"... no I am His child and surrendered to Him. See yea, I could mess up everything through sin, but through trying to follow Jesus....no way! (Know that I say all of these things as if they are my own but they are really my interpretation of what God has been speaking through my husband the last couple of months. He has truly fought in the trenches for me!)
So all that to say....Are you to paralyzed my fear? Are you afraid of doing what you think God has called you to do or an idea you think God gave you for the good of the Kingdom? Rebuke those thoughts! They enemy is who gives fear! God says be STRONG and COURAGEOUS because HE is with you! It is time as believers we "go to the mattresses" and fight! We need to stand up and take action with out fear...because dear friends...God is with us!

Humility....

So I have gotten into a pretty regular habit of listening to podcasts on Fridays while I clean. The other day I was listening to a message about humility. The pastor referenced a guy he had recently heard talking about humility. He said he had been
guilty of wanting to be humble in order to be "lifted up". However God had shown him that this is not the point. He then reference the verse that says "God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble"(Prvb.3:34. He said the point of humility is intimacy!
God can not be close and intimate with those who are proud. He draws near to the humble! You know this is so true. Earlier this year I was listening to another great teacher, Beth Moore, who was also talking about humility (I really have no original thoughts, they are all borrowed). She was saying sometimes God takes us through circumstances for no other reason than to be humbled! When I first thought about that I thought...gosh that is kind of mean of God. But when you consider the reward...intimacy with Jesus...it makes me want to even pray for these circumstances.
These teachings encouraged me because recently I feel as I have been going through some mighty humbling circumstances! From small things such as crying in awkward, humiliating times...to my ministry taking an unexpected turn. I must say this is one of the oddest places I have with the Lord! Yet it has brought me to a place of honesty and humility before the Lord. It feels so good to be open and honest with Him! I tell Him I am confused. I tell Him it hurts! I even tell Him I am mad! I feel frustratingly humbled! (is that a word?) But I will echo what that pastor said, there is intimacy in humility!
I know the footprints story is cheezy but isn't it true?! In the good times, you feel as if you are dancing down the beach with God, hand in hand. You can hear the ocean and feel the breeze. But in the heard times you don't feel the sand on your feet or the breeze. But if you listen closely you can hear His heart beat close to your ear...because it is then that He is holding you! Although I feel I have been fighting for awhile, I can feel Him holding me close and whispering in my ear. He is saying, "Dear Child, don't fight it,I know your heart, relax in My arms and enjoy the intimacy!
May you be encouraged that our God is an intimate God!

Grace...

Today was a crazy day! I walked outside to my car this morning to a flat tire and a dead battery! No fun! Today is Mark's day off so luckily so he was able to fix everything! I went off to school and Mark's day didn't get much better! I lost my phone and he was going back and forth between the insurance people and it ended up finding out it would still be another week before we would get another phone. Meanwhile, I am carrying his phone around while he doesn't have one! He then had to mess with more crazy home issues..that you probably don't want to hear...
Point being...most of this craziness today was my fault. I am bad about self imposed guilt! I had felt bad about "ruining" Mark's day off all day. However, tonight when I got home, dinner was cooked and on the table, the house was straight and there was a rose on the table! (I know he is amazing!) He could have easily said "Hey this is my day off and I had to spend it fixing your mistakes! You cook dinner!". I was just amazed that although my carelessness and forgetfulness had kept him busy all day, he offered grace to me.
That is such a glimpse of Christ! It was our sins that caused Him to come to this Earth and die for our sins. He could have stopped at forgiving us of our sins. But Jesus offered us life when He rose from the grave! He gave us what we didn't deserve...GRACE!
Praise God for a husband who shows me glimpses of Jesus!

Another Small thing....

Last night I cooked the easiest meal I have ever made! This dinner was so great! I am not a fancy cook...I manage the meals in our household and Mark mostly carries them out : ) So last night I made a Bertoli pasta meals. It was great! All I did was open the packet, pour the contents in a saucepan and let it cook for 10 minutes while I played fetch with my cat (yes, my cat can fetch...she's awesome!). After 10 minutes, Mark and I had yummy chicken parmesan!
Anyway, it just another "small thing" and I thought I would spread the news about an easy home cooked meal!

Cleaning....

So I have kind of been medaling with the cleaning house thing this summer. I think I have finally decided to take the plunge! So, I was curious about cleaning supplies. What I have works well but I am my NO means an expert! Any suggestions? Any products you swear by or that work well?
With that said I must put out a shameless plug...if you need any house cleaning I am available on Fridays. I charge $20 an hour. I have Fridays open right now!

The small stuff....

I have not had a lot of time to blog this week. I started back to school last Wednesday which was actually a pretty big surprise to me...but that is a blog for another day. Anyway I am starting back on year 5 and I think I might see the light at the end of this never ending tunnel!
I don't know if you have ever felt this way, but right now I am confused about more things in my life than I am sure or confident of. You have probably never been like that : ) I don't know...I just really don't understand what God is doing right now. He is changing a lot of plans...that I thought at one time were His plans... and many things are not turning out like I thought. I love the Lord...really He is my everything...but lately I have been tempted to doubt a lot! Not really doubt Him but doubt my role in everything "Am I really hearing Him right?" "Is this really what I am supposed to be doing?" "Have I totally missed something?". I don't know just kind of confused. I am kind of coming around. Last week I was stressed and highly analytical (I don't think Mark could have taken anymore outburst of emotions!). This week God has given me a peace in the middle of my storm. I am learning to praise Him in the small things. All though I really don't understand the big things that well. I can praise Him in the little things! Here is my list...posted to glorify God and praise Him in the small things I have found Him in lately.

If you may be feeling a little like I am, I encourage you to make your own list of the "small things".

I praise God for:
1. ...the way my neighborhood smells like laundry detergent at night when everyone is doing their laundry...(we live in a townhouse...we are all close)
2. the mountain top (literally) Mark and I found on Monday night
3. the fact my cat has not had an "accident" in over a month
4. new school supplies
5. playing cards and games with Mark at nights
6. the clouds and the sunlight peaking through them this morning
7. tonight's sunset
8. the rainstorm the other day! I love rain!
9. My new IKEA shelf
10. my freshly painted living room
11. Diet Dr. Pepper...what can I say...great taste no calories!
12. the Easy Glider treadmill at Kennesaw
13. my iPod
14. driving 5 speed car...it is fun!
15. teaching my sister how to drive one...praise that she didn't kill us! (jk she's doing great!)
16. my backyard from around 5 until sunset
17. kisses from Layla
18. detours
19. my camera
20. early Saturday mornings
21. Noah

Just gotta Brag...

I don't do this often enough but I just have to brag about my husband, Mark, he is amazing....
When we were dating I was never one to talk hours on end about Mark or write "I love Mark" on everything I own, but the longer we are together the more I find myself becoming that person. I feel that I fall in love with him more and more each day becoming that annoying middle schooler who loves to talk about her "boyfriend".
I am usually very private in this area but sometimes you can't help but shout it from the mountain tops you know?!
These are a few reasons I think he is amazing!
- There is no one who more transparently shows me the love of God...he is God's vessel of love in my life!
- He is the most genuine person is know!
- He goes grocery shopping with me ... he knows I can't handle it alone!
- He works hard!
- He brings logic to my crazy ideas!
- He allows me to follow God's calling in every way.
- He is a great cook!
- He brings me a fountain Sprite from Krystal's after band practice : )
- He puts up with my tears!
- He will take the long way just so we will drive through downtown Atlanta...because he knows I love the city!
- He puts up with my love for 80's music!
- He loves people and always has time for others!
- He is not afraid to radically follow God!
- He always finds a reason to celebrate!

I could go on but I will stop so not to nauseate you ; ) But I just can't help it!

TV

For my birthday Mark let me have a "mini home make-over". If you know me, I like change! Every once in a while I just have to move things around. So I have painted and moved rooms around...which is not easy to do in a two bedroom townhouse : ) One thing we did very differently was move the TV out of our living room. We brought some bookshelves downstairs and moved the TV to our loft creating a "movie room". One of the main reasons we wanted to move this summer, was to be able to do this and I guess we never really thought about moving things around in our house here. I must say this has been the biggest blessing! It has been a little over a week now and we have watched significantley less TV and haven't really missed it. We didn't really have spiritual reasons for moving the TV or anything...we just wanted to cut down on turning it on just because or just out of habbit. We found many nights we would just turn it on after dinner and mindlessly watch for a couple of hours and then go to bed never really spending time together.
Anyway it has been a huge blessing for us! I would highly recommend it!

What if....

This Christmas I received an iPod. It has been one of my favorite gifts I have ever gotten! One of my favorite things to do is subscribe to various podcasts and listen to them through out the week while I am cleaning or driving or whatever. There is one guy, Francis Chan (I have mentioned before) that just stands out above the rest right now. I love to hear what God is doing in their church and I love to hear his genuine heart for the Lord.
There is a continual phrase that he says in almost all his messages. He will teach on a certain passage or truth and then say "What if our church actually did what the word says...What if we actually do this?!" He will then tell the church about how they are actually going to implement this truth starting that day from...meeting for prayer during the week to stooping a particular activity or whatever. I know that may sound almost shallow or obvious but the question of "what if" always lingers on after I finish listening to his messages.
"What if..." The funny thing is that I don't think I ask that question enough! It sounds so obvious... "what if we actually did what the Word says?" ...like I should debate God's Word or something?...How many times, however, do we hear or read the Word of God and get up and go about our lives the same way? ...it is far to often for me! This question calls you to a state of action now! I love it!
Mark and I have been going through a weird time with our relationship with God. We have had more questions than answers but I really think we have felt closer to Him all together...kind of the footprints in the sand thing. But God has been challenging us to the "What if!". What if we really did trust God with our finances? What if we actually did love people that live in the same neighborhood as us? What if we did just follow God and obey Him regardless if it fits the mold or not? What if... I think we have finally stopped wrestling God and we are just going to do those "what if things". I will tell you, even though some of the things don't quite make sense, we are pretty excited!

For more about Francis Chan, he is the teaching pastor at Cornerstone Church in Semi Valley, CA http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/ you can get his podcast by putting his name in the iTunes search bar.

Answered prayer....

We sold the Envoy!!! God answered our prayers in His time! It actually worked out great... we sold it Tuesday night and Mark had today off anyway so we were able to look at cars all day..in the sweldering heat! The timing really was perfect! We ended up buying another Hyundia...we got a great car with semi-low mileage for a "beater" price.
The "get out of debt plan" is finally moving!

Pray

God has been on me about prayer! I heard a great message by Francis Chan about prayer. God used it to humble me! I am really bad about letting my request be known to God and then still stressing about them. If any of you are podcasters the message is great it is called "I'm in love pt 1" is was recorded some time in Feburary. Actually anything from Francis Chan is really good. He is a pastor of a church 10 year old in California, called Cornerstone Chruch.

Anyway....please pray for Mark and I tomorrow! We have received a call from a potential buyer for our Envoy! This is the first one who actually seems like he wants to buy it! We are meeting him 7:00pm. please lift us up in prayer! To really make any ground on our Dave Ramsey plan we need to sell this car!

Religion and tradition....

Tonight I was asking God about something that has been on my heart... where is the line between religion and tradition? When are we too much in the world or not at all of it?

I used to be very religious. I had rules for everything! There were more things I didn't do because of God than things I did do for Him. I was very proud of my rules and stuck to them relentlessly. Once I even told Mark, while we were dating, that I thought it would be best if we no longer hugged! That would keep us more "pure". But, all these things were mere rules so sin abounded...because empty, self imposed, rules and traditions do not give you power over sin... Jesus does.

Over the last four years God has been graciously delivering me from my religion. So I often struggle with finding the line between going back there. It is hard finding a balance between mere tradition and necessary discipline!

Tonight I was reading in Matthew 15.A couple of Pharisees come up to him and ask why His disciples are breaking tradition and not washing their hands when they eat. Jesus replies with this, "Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition" (emphasis added). Jesus then points these religious men back to the commandment about honoring your father and mother. He then says that they have invalidated the Word of God by not helping their parents when they are in need but saying, "sorry I already gave my gift to God". I think here He is connecting the body and the spirit or "religion" to "real life".

How can we say that we love God and give to God without loving others? It is a contradiction.

He then goes on to talk about food how what goes in the mouth does not defile but yet what comes out...rooting from the heart! This is what He highlighted in my brain.... Jesus is always looking at the heart when it comes to tradition v. discipline matters.

Do I wake up every morning and read my Bible to spend time with Him or is it a tradition?

Do I listen to only Christian music so I can brag to my friends or does bring my heart closer to Him?

These comparisons can be asked in nearly every area of our life.

What God is teaching me is that He is concerned with my heart and if I truly want to become like Him it is not my following a set number of "Christian" rules but it by loving Him and loving others!

You are better...

There is a great Shane and Shane song....I can't remember the title but somewhere in the verses it says, "You are better". I love it because it is so true... He is better.
We just got back from serving at a family camp at our church. Usually when I serve at camps I get a little something out of it for myself through the messages or bible studies. This week, however, was pure service. Most of us never got to sit in a message and barely had time to spend with God. I will have to admit it was kind of crazy and stressful. To be honest, I don't think I had the best of attitude the whole time. But as I rested and have allowed my brain and body to slow down and catch a breath, I have realized that it is better. Serving the Lord is better!
I have learned this many times and God shows it to me again and again...but doing His work is better! I have been to many conferences and camps where I have been able to sit under what seems like a waterfall of teaching. And then there are many weeks like this last one where it felt as if I were trying to squeeze a drop of water from a damp rag. Regardless, being in the Presence of God is BETTER!
Nothing can compare, not new clothes, a new car, a new house, new a new hair-do, full bank account, day at the beach, dinner out, all day shopping trips, fancy cruises, movie nights, or whatever momentary "happy" moments arise. Unless He is in those things, there is nothing in this world that can compare to the satisfaction of being with Him!

spotlight...

I think it is pretty official...Mark and I have started a ministry/buisness! It has been exciting but very trying! In short we provide dance curriculum, training and materials to churches so that they can start a community outreach program! Basically very similar to Upward Basetball but with dance.
I have been struggling with the vision of this program. I know from the start it has been one of those things that only God could have done! He has established every step this far. However, to be honest, my heart's passion is not dance (and you may find this hard to believe...neither is Mark's) our passion is the church! We love the church! My question was how did all of this fit? I love dance. It has been a big part of my life but why is it that God called me to this postition? I think he finally put the last puzzle piece in place... We can serve the church through Spotlight.
It is my heart's desire and the vision for our program to enable churches to take steps toward outreach! To help churches extend their arms past the front door of their building. Yes, it is just dance classes...but I hope we can provide another step toward the Church...God's People...truely becoming the hands, feet, and body of Christ!

Missing the Target...

So I have been reading "Blue like Jazz" by Donald Miller. I have wanted to read this book for a while. I heard him speak at a confrence recently and he paralled the gospel with Romeo and Juliet...the human brain...and art. I love when people see that the gospel is not only written in the Bible! So I decided to buy the book. In short, it will mess you up, make you mad and totally transform you perspective. Just when I am so mad I am about to put the book down, I will read a revolutionary truth taught by this guy.
One thing he cntinually points back to is Jesus heart for people. (I can't explain. Just read the book.) Jesus loved people. He hung out with them. He laughed. He cried. He had genuine relationships with people. Not just pretty people but the dirty, unpopular, religious, sick, needy, and law breaking people. What fasinates me is that he did not just "hang out" with them but He deeply loved them!
I am not like Jesus. I desire to be. I want to love people, not just the pretty ones who can do something for me. You know, I think so many times "the world" has become the enemy of my heart instead of the target. I don't want to become like them, look like them, talk like them, listen to music like them, or be with them. "They" don't do things the right way. "They" cuse, drink, lie, etc... But why are we surprised? We would do the same if we didn't know Jesus. If we are honest we still do the same at times and we have no excuse.
"The world" was Jesus' target. He was after them. Of coarse the ruler of "the world" is the enemy but not the people! The people are the point otherwise I would, all Christians, would be dead and in heaven with the Lord!
Mark and I offically took our house of the market today. Turns out the whole reason we were moving is happening right here in our neighborhood. We wanted to move closer to CATR to be involved in what God is doing. We wanted to build community and relationships with neighbors. However, why did we expect God to give us a new mission field when we have done a pretty slack job with the first one he gave us? Truth be told I think we realized we were failing to reach out to our neighbors and we wanted a fresh start or "clean slate". We were talking to a couple of Christian neighbors the other day and found out God is starting to move here. It is pretty exciting. We were too busy looking for houses, making plans and hanging out with our good clean Christian friends (no offense we love you) to notice the work God is doing right out side our front door.
We want to know God's will often....but do we want to know His heart? I think if we will quiet down and listen we can hear it... it is beating for the world, the people right next to us!

Cooking....

I am not a very good cook. I enjoy it somewhat. When I cook it is very methodical. I follow recipes, make hamburger helper or a fool proof meal...Totinos pizza! When I cook it is for a purpose: feed people. period. I get it done.

Now Mark on the other hand loves cooking. He is passionate about it. He rarely uses a recipe and always tries new things. His recent luxury has been BBQ ribs...they are awesome! Now, I am not kidding. I used to live in Memphis TN and have tasted some pretty good BBQ including ribs from BB King's Randveaus. No kidding these things are good! He thinks I just say that because I am his wife.

Listen to this...this is crazy to me but I swear he made this decision! One night I completely messed up a meal. I mean this one was a tough one...one that took hours to make...Hamburger Helper: Philly Cheesesteak...we used two of our ever so wonderful Chick-fil-a coupons that night... I asked him after dinner if he wanted to cook more. At that point he was cooking maybe once a week. He said he would love to! I thought he was nuts...who wants to work all day and then come home and cook? He then told me he would rather cook most of the meals and I instead would cook only a couple times a week when we were in a rush or something. So this is how great my husband is and how much he actually does love cooking. He works Mon-Fri 7-6 and chooses to then come home and cook! That's working double time in my book! He's amazing!



Either my cooking is that bad or he just really loves it! Hoping it is the later, I got thinking about passions and love. We just finished a series at our church about serving in your sweet spot. Serving where you are passionate. I have been thinking and comparing the difference in serving out of purpose and serving out of love and passion. Although obviously you can see the correlation in the story above God has been showing me something more... Besides just serving where we are passionate...Are we passionately serving our God? Are we so full and so in love with Him that our service is just the beating of our heart expressing our continual love for Him? Are we just that in love with Him?

For years I was a rhythmic "quiet timer". I would wake up 1-2 hours early, plop open a Bible Study and have scheduled time with God. Although God taught me a lot during those times with Him, I would say half the time I read that thing and said a prayer just out of habit and duty. Not consciously, but with good intentions, I would have my "God time" and feel pretty good about myself. And heaven forbid I miss it because there would be nagging guilt that followed me that day...I could be wrong but I don't believe that is the kind of system God wants us to follow. A wise woman who counseled Mark and I before marriage taught me about the truth of practicing God's Presence. Not to throw that alone time in God's Word to the wind but rather invite God into my day, my routine, my life. I have found in Him in my car, I have found Him through the kids I used to work with, I have found Him through my lost professors in college, I found him in music, I found Him anywhere I had the heart to look. Through this I have fallen in a deeper love with Him. I mean really just in love with Jesus. All methods and procedures aside.

Now to me Christianity always kind of confused me in that it is relational but yet there are many procedures and disciplines. However, I have found that there is a beautiful blend when all of the disciplines and procedures are aligned out of a passionate love for Jesus.

You can't just love cooking a miraculously produce food. There is work, time and effort that go along with it. However, it is not a task when it is your passion. Sure there is work... hard work, time and effort that is apart of living and serving God. But it is not work when it is for the one you love. There is no need to complain when you are working and serving the one you have a relationship with and are in love with!

Father meet with us! Reveal yourself to us in a way that we have no choice but to fall head over heals in love with you! Then help us to show our love through serving you!

I got the greatest gift today....my niece knows m name. She doesn't just repeat it after you say it...she knows my name! She is amazing!
Can you imagine the heart of our Father when we know His name...not just repeating it or mocking some religous routine...but when we really know Him! Wow His heart must swell up a hundred times more than mine!
I thank God for little glipses of His glory!

Blogger...

So I am a blogger now. I year ago I was so "above" all of this! I didn't have a myspace, facebook or blog or anything of the sort. I was way to good for all that. Now I have all three. A year ago I was also trying to balance a brand new marriage, school, job, starting a new buisness and a handful of church activities. I was really important! : )
I remember the day God slammed the breaks down on my busy life. It was September 15, 2006. I woke up with a lot to do...work school...the usual...and went to sleep late that night after spending six hours in the ER. I was sick...really sick....I had mono the worst my doctor had ever seen (It is bad when your doctor is suprised and worried!). Anyway God had to literally stop my body from moving. He knows he can't teach me a small lesson! Since then He has been drastically slowing down the pace of my life. It has been a fight! One day, not to long after I had been diagnosed with mono, I was feeling very tired. It had been a difficult day at work and my energy was draining. I clearly felt the Lord telling me to lay down and get some rest. Being the work-a-holic by nature I brushed it off and decided to do some work outside on our patio. After messsing with the flower I turned around to find my door locked tight! I was so mad at myself! I was barefoot and in some pretty dingy work clothes and had to go to my neighbor to borrow the phone. It wasn't that long before Mark would be home so I decided to wait it out. I sat down on the cold concrete on my front porch. It felt good to sit down. Then a I heard a still quiet voice, "I told you to rest...". I realized God will have His way rather I cooperate or not. Through this journey of slowing down I have learned so much. I have had time to sit out on my front porch by choice. I have had time to blog and myspace...to connect with people who I haven't talked to in years. I have had time to be creative and experience God in a whole new way.
I really think this is more the pace of life God designed us to have...the enemy has lied to so many Christians and convinced them otherwise. When you slow down you see, hear and feel so much more. Life is not a blur.... I thank God for my husband! He has such a gift at relaxing and enjoying people and life!
Jack Johnson wrote a great song about the desire to slow down. I think it so reflects our culture today!


Jack Johnson - Breakdown Lyrics
I hope this old train breaks downThen I could take a walk around
And, see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
All the people in the street
Walk as fast as their feet can take them
I just roam through town
And though my windows got a view
The frame I'm looking through
Seems to have no concern for me now
So for now I,
I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown

This engine screams out loud
Saying the beat gunna crawl westbound
So I don't even make a sound
Cause its gunna sting me when I leave this town
And all the people in the street
That I'll never get to meet
If these tracks dont bend somehow
And I got no time
That I got to get to
Where I don't need to be
So I

CHORUS

I wanna break on down
But I can't stop now
Let me break on down
But you cant stop nothing
If you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind
That you kept in you know
You dont know nothing
But you dont need to know
The wisdoms in the trees
Not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing
If you dont let go
But things that you find
And you lose and you know
You keep on rolling
Put the moment on hold
The frames too bright
So put the blinds down low

But I can't stop now